A way to value myself, in the tango village

It was a good tango night for me last Tuesday at El V.

I got there early and got a chance to dance with some of my favorite leader friends, some of whom (maybe) got there early for the chance to dance with me.  There were moments of flow, and joy, and laughter, and we said sweet warm words to each other between the dances.  I got to dance with a visitor, who was lovely.  I danced most of the time I was there and left at a good time.

During one tanda I wasn’t dancing, M walked in.  I don’t think I had seen her in person before, but I knew who she was almost immediately.  As I watched her peripherally, I’ve observed there were two other women whose names started with an M there, who at some point were with men or boys I liked, not hypothetically, but when there was a connection and a possibility.  But then, I wasn’t as good as the three Ms, not good enough to be with for longer than a few weeks.  Or ever.

This M who just walked in doesn’t know me at all.  Another one is super sweet with me.  The third one is friendly and civil enough; we once spent a lovely day in a foreign capital together.  All is well.  I observe them and note that this is how I value myself (sometimes), and this is how it is in the tango village.  Maybe it’ll be funny one day.  Until then, it’ll just be there, and I’ll dance with it.  And leave at a good time.  And it will be a good tango night.

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