Plans for When I Have Company

I spotted a picnic table in a Reykjavik park. Framed by low trees, it stood, sturdy and sunlit, off a lakefront pedestrian path. It would be so nice for a late spring picnic, I thought. With thermos tea and portable sandwiches. With someone special, romantically special or just life special.

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A List of Irrational Fears

Yesterday morning I gave a two weeks notice at work. I don’t have another job lined up. I am not even going to look until end of August. I didn’t have to resign – in a way.

I don’t have a good story to tell or any particularly noble aspirations. I’m just taking a break.

While this sounds exciting and luxurious, it’s also, as I’ve said before, scary and unsettling.

In the following ways.

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A Path of Destruction

I am hungry for closeness, emotional and physical.  I am hungry, but it’s OK.  This is a lean time, a time to fast.  I subsist on the breadcrumbs I pick here and there.

And here you show up with what appears like food.  It smells nice.  It looks nice.  It’s so close, I can feel the warmth and can’t resist taking a bite: it’s tasty.

But I know it’s poison.  And you know that, too.  How can you not?