Last night, over the course of two hours, I faced three beautiful people in various stages of loss to me (newly declared and imminent, known for a while and imminent, complete), of various degrees of past closeness (a teacher, a tango friend, a lover). Continue reading “Three Losses and Dreams”
Tag leaving
Reclaiming
I will take the pieces of my heart that used to be yours and give them away.
Your dimples will go to Seryozhka and your music Continue reading “Reclaiming”
Tango Cafe
As wise as you are and as mad as a hatter, as pushing and pulling, as scared and undisturbed, as unwilling to surrender, to live, to be with me – not able, I believe you dear that unable you may be… You smell like heaven.
And if this is the only thing I can’t deal with right now – it’s not too bad, is it?
It’s that and that I will not open my heart to you when I dance with you – not yet.
Untitled, Newark Airport
As you ever strongly have pulled me in, my love, you ever so consistently, stubbornly, refused me. You held me desperately and you fought to set yourself free as feverishly. You made a space for me in your heart and you made space for the pain of my absence. And I held you, for my life, as I, little by little, let you go, hoping you needed a little bit of both, but no. You needed one or the other, and one it wasn’t, so it was the other.
В последний раз
Я на днях слышала рекламу программы “Fresh Air”, где упоминались профессии, которых больше нет и не будет.
Не знаю о чём именно программа, а я вот думала как бухгалтер передвинет последнюю косточку на счетах, запишет результат, а потом встанет и уйдет. Тётеньки, которые вручную сплели компьютеры для миссии Аполон, вплели последнюю нитку. Наверное, все уже разошлись, а одна осталась. Самая аккуратная, или ответственная, или одинокая. Вплела, расправила, уложила в стопку или в конверт. Ну и все – работа закончена.
А пока что я не хочу узнать, что бабушка сказала, что съела вкусненькое в последний раз. Потому что меня там не было и никогда не будет.
Love letters understated 